I just got distracted from college stuff and went to read some TCK blogs and related to every post, every sentence, that I read. And with every word, panic set in even more. My stomach became a cage for a million butterflies. I'll have to explain to people where I'm from. The question every TCK hates. I'd like to say I have a short version, but there is none that really explains who I am besides the long answer that I am tired of saying. I wish that it was more like "what is your name?" Sure, I used to hate it in elementary school because my name is hyphenated, but all I say now is "Saige Trottman-Huiet, but I usually just go by Saige Huiet." It's concise, simple, and makes sense.
Where I'm from is nothing like that.
I was born in Colorado and straight from that moment I moved around until I was 6, then back to colorado until 8th grade. As a every other Colorado person, on my list is CU Boulder. And I find it somewhat ironic that my life will go from Colorado, overseas, Colorado again, China for high school, Colorado for College, and the inevitable back overseas. After moving so far away, doesn't it seem strange to go right back to where it started? Sometimes I think that I just made my life so much more stressful by moving away, but going straight back to where I would have gone in the first place. And honestly, sometimes I wish that I hadn't moved.
Then I think about who I would have been had I not moved to China. It's almost impossible to think about because I have become a completely different person. It's uncomfortable to say, but I'm pretty proud of who I've become and how much I've grown. I wouldn't trade this experience for anything.
But back to the beginning. It's a strange thought thinking that I might be going "home" (at least where I was born and spent summers). People will expect me to know where things are and Colorado trivia. I won't. Sure I've been to Boulder before, but I've never felt like I fit there. Most people who go to CU probably do feel they fit in.
If I say I'm from Colorado, I'll be expected to know Colorado things. If I say I'm from China (after the strange looks and inquisitive faces), it will be hard to express my love for Colorado, but only as a vacation, not a home.
Honestly, I'm just not looking forward to figuring out how I want to be seen because no one, well at least very few people, will understand who I am really am and the struggles I face.
Ugh..back to college applications.