I remember thinking about how old I was going to look and how cool I would be in high school. None of these things have come to be true, but I sure I have grown up quite a bit. Becoming a 6th grader used to seem so important to me, now I'm filling out college applications and scheduling auditions. In 9th grade, we were told to start thinking about colleges and I just thought "oh that's so far away," Now it is here.
The fact that it is here makes sleep un attainable thing. My body can be so ready for sleep, all cuddled up in my zebra blanket. Then my brain starts thinking about everything that is happening with college. I've already had 3 dreams about being rejected from all my schools (I might have to talk about my fear of rejection sometime soon). My brain is constantly overloaded.
It's terrifying, and exciting, and nerve-wracking to think that by this time in a year I'll be in college. But even more terrifying and worrisome that in 8-9 months I'll know where I am going for college. And it continues! In 6 months, I'll start receiving those letters (or e-mails) that I only saw in TV shows. And in just 3 months most of my applications will be sent in and my life already set out. And at that point, it's all completely out of my hands.
One of my biggest worries is the fact that I'll I have to start choosing where I want to go for real. Whenever my brain isn't completely occupied with something else, I'm thinking about the pros and cons of each school and with every pro comes another con and then when I think I've made up my mind, something else comes and completely changes it and my brain can't take this craziness of going on and on and going back and forth and back and forth and Oh what if I did this or went here instead. I'm pretty sure my brain is just going to shut down from all these long conversations constantly going on in my head.
It really doesn't seem real at all that I am a senior applying for college and soon my future will be set. Yet it's more real than ever before. I know that this next year will go by so quickly, and I can't wait. But I also want it to slow down and never come.
Oh confusion and insomnia.
The fact that it is here makes sleep un attainable thing. My body can be so ready for sleep, all cuddled up in my zebra blanket. Then my brain starts thinking about everything that is happening with college. I've already had 3 dreams about being rejected from all my schools (I might have to talk about my fear of rejection sometime soon). My brain is constantly overloaded.
It's terrifying, and exciting, and nerve-wracking to think that by this time in a year I'll be in college. But even more terrifying and worrisome that in 8-9 months I'll know where I am going for college. And it continues! In 6 months, I'll start receiving those letters (or e-mails) that I only saw in TV shows. And in just 3 months most of my applications will be sent in and my life already set out. And at that point, it's all completely out of my hands.
One of my biggest worries is the fact that I'll I have to start choosing where I want to go for real. Whenever my brain isn't completely occupied with something else, I'm thinking about the pros and cons of each school and with every pro comes another con and then when I think I've made up my mind, something else comes and completely changes it and my brain can't take this craziness of going on and on and going back and forth and back and forth and Oh what if I did this or went here instead. I'm pretty sure my brain is just going to shut down from all these long conversations constantly going on in my head.
It really doesn't seem real at all that I am a senior applying for college and soon my future will be set. Yet it's more real than ever before. I know that this next year will go by so quickly, and I can't wait. But I also want it to slow down and never come.
Oh confusion and insomnia.